JOY

MareBearHitstheRoad Blogger - May 26, 2010 - When I first started this post I thought there was more I wanted to add...instead as I read it now, 3 days into my arrival in the Big Apple, I have decided that this is exactly what it should be. While I post this piece on something that most people have trouble finding in their lives, I feel enormously blessed that I have been privileged to an abundance of it. So even during the strain and stress of the long journey and acclimation back to what is the seemingly polar opposite of what I am used to, it is my hope that even through the struggle I find and reflect just as much Joy as when I am in not in the refiners fire than when I am.

Written May 12, 2010 ..."in 6 days I will pack up what little I have into a trailer the size of what most women would call a small closet, LOL, and pack up my dogs and head East. Some of you have been following the journey so far and most of you have become part of it. Some for very personal reasons, others to be encouragers and support me at a time when frankly I feel quite vulnerable and wide-open for disappointment. But as I forge forward, completely at peace with the choices I am making and the road I will be traveling, keenly aware of all that can and will go wrong, I am filled with tremendous Joy and Hope. I have looked at this move from every angle and then some. You see I am an "out of the box" thinker and a planner. I enjoy the adventure and challenge that life offers us everyday. And while I have had tremendous trials whereby I failed miserably at keeping the Joy and Hope in the spotlight, I have far more triumphs for these very same things.

Websters defines joy: Main Entry: ¹joy 

Pronunciation: \ˈjȯi\

Function: noun

Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French joie, from Latin gaudia, plural ofgaudium, from gaudēre to rejoice; probably akin to Greek gēthein to rejoice

Date: 13th century

1 a : the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires : delight b : the expression or exhibition of such emotion :gaiety
2 : a state of happiness or felicity : bliss
3 : a source or cause of delight

Joy has taken over me in untold, unimaginable ways, ways that come from knowing that whatever the future holds, so long as look up and not out or in (meaning to withdraw into the self) anything is possible. I have been blessed with THE MOST EXTRAORDINARY friends, family and experiences that go with them.  I am not only blessed beyond comprehension but through my great JOY others see hope and possibilities for the future.  

But Joy is not something that comes easily and more often than not, it comes after great trials and tribulations. Experiences that while traumatic, difficult or life changing - these experiences are what shape our character, build integrity, create courage, breathe life where none existed.  So while I look back at the many mistakes I have made and will make in the future, for now I can sit quietly with my computer and write my hearts love for all things. That includes you, it includes the hurting and the homeless, the hopeless and the lost.  

The JOY that I hope to share and convey didn't come to me because I have wealth or fame, power or position. It comes from deep within; from a place that has known great tragedies but also great triumphs. My joy is created within a heart that seeks to serve, minister and bring Christ's message to everyone, regardless of what they believe.  

SHAME

MareBearHitstheRoad Blogger - How many here have walked the walk of Shame. Man o Man is it a pain or what? Shame is such a horrible, lonely, ugly place to be and it mires us down in bitterness, self-pity and hatred, feelings of helplessness...and the list goes on. But what happens when you are led from that dark hallway down the road to a place where you can objectively look back at all you have done, all you have or have not been, and all you were meant to do? Well for one thing, you get down off your soap box; climb out of your hell; shed the shackles of bondage to all that really is not real and you smell the clean fresh air of freedom.

Shame like any crappy, negative emotion sucks you dry. It simply moves right in and devours every good thing in its path. And we have all walked it at one time or another. For some it is a comforting blanket, filled with down feathers and frilly edges. That is how much we embrace it. For others, we keep it tucked quietly in the closet where no one can see it and hope that we are pretending well enough to achieve that goal. And others wear it on their sleeves, for the whole world to see. It really doesn't matter which category you fall into, we've all been there, done that...and probably will again, and again, and again.

But do we have to? Is it a choice or given? In Jesus, we have choices. We can choose right living, good choices and still end up with a closet full of shame. Shame is one of the most base of all emotions. It keeps us from living our lives to their full potential because as we walk in shame we fail to see truth. Not because we necessarily want to but because it is all we know. Perhaps a parent or loved one, in their style and manner of communication taught us to shame...perhaps it was passed from parent to child, unwittingly. Wherever it came from, shame ravages lives and destroys hope and faith.

I have done many things over my lifetime that were not just shameful, but they were down right wrong.  And as life moved forward, I did not move forward from my shame and guilt over those many incidences that disappointed not just me but those I loved and cared for. But then something Extraordinary happened. It was in the spring of 2003 that I watched, literally, all the shame and fear leave me. As I sat reading an extremely life changing book on finding Freedom in Christ, I was transformed.  That book was "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers. There are several books that have changed me over the years, all for the better but the 2 that stand out most, were this one and the Bible.

Francine Rivers manages in this one book to transform lives simply by sharing the extraordinary life of a young girl, a child really, who through the white slave trade/trafficking back in the 1800's, was transformed by the Amazing Love of one man, her husband. But for those who have not read the book or understand that it is faith based, the symbolism of her husband is that of Jesus. And her life of forced prostitution, rape etc...are simply representative of the many things that bring shame and dirtiness to each of us, in one way or another.

But you see, there is an answer to solving this dilemma and His name is Christ. When I keep my eyes fixed on Jesus, I know that I have been washed clean. Nothing I can ever do or say again will change that. I do not need to carry the shame and sin and sorrows of the past on me life a warm cozy blanket. But rather I can walk naked toward  my King, my best friend, and know that I am pure like the driven snow because He took all of those things away from me...as he hung on the cross. As he hang there, willingly, dying for my sin.

I can not unring bells or take back the past or fix what I did wrong. But I can take today and every day forward and live them for Him...and in doing that, by letting go of the shame, I bring my Faith into the forefront...my belief in God, the Hope for tomorrow and the Blessings to come - all of these become my life, my focus, my reality. When I look up and stop looking out or in, I give God the Glory and His Love in me, through me a chance to shine like the Northern Lights.

This evening as I sat with 4 of the people I trust most in this world, sharing and discussing the Vision for BFF International, tears of sadness welled up as I realized that this would be the last time I might sit with these special brothers and sisters, and explore the Will of God...not just for BFF but for Him through me....as I drove away down Evergreen Parkway, He gave me a glorious rainbow...

HOPE

MareBearHitstheRoad Blogger - Webster's online dictionary defines Hope: 1. to cherish a desire with anticipation; 2. (archaic): Trust. As a transitive verb: 1. to desire with expectation of obtainment; 2. to expect with confidence: Trust.  In Hebrews 11:1 (ASV) "Now faith is assurance of (things) hoped for, a conviction of things not seen".  This is my life verse. I am assured because the word tells me so, that GOD promises it over and over in the bible that through Faith, Hope and Love, I can not only develop a deeper relationship and understanding of God and His will for my life, our lives, but also that I can TRUST that.

When was the last time you truly trusted (hoped in ernest) in something so much that you chanced all things that are comfortable and secure in your life, on the HOPE of something better? This is an important question for all of us to examine and reflect on. When we put our hopes into something, we are trusting that we will attain or receive what we expect. Sometimes out hopes are in things of this world. Things like power, albeit through wealth and position; or in what we do or don't have or how much of it we have. A lot of times we put our hope in others and inevitably we are disappointed time and again, until one day, we feel hopeLESS.  And when that happens we lose faith (trust) in what we can see, what is tangible or intangible. When this happens, and it does to all of us - at some time or another, we begin to shut down, we begin to put up barriers and build castles around ourselves to protect us from something that is invisible, but very real - our fear of being hurt, used, abandoned and destroyed.

As I begin to watch the clock, experience the sense of bittersweet sadness of what I am leaving behind me...I have great HOPE in what lay ahead of me. I will not be successful in all things, but I can hope to be. I may not always make the right choice or do and say the right thing, but I hope I will and can.  I may fail completely - my friends and family, but I choose to HOPE that I will not.

The bible, Jesus' ministry is founded on the principals of Faith, Hope and Love - all of which in their archaic translations point to the same definition - one of trust. Without Trust, this basic tenant of Christianity could not be - it would be meaningless and futile. We are asked over and over again throughout scripture to have faith, use hope and always love as God loves us. Without whom life is really meaningless. The pursuit of worldly things; of all that glitters - that is not a treasure that I see as truly tangible. What I see is that whenever I share my faith, have hope and love always - I am blessed a 1000 times greater than I would be if I got some great new promotion, more money, a fancy house or a really nice car.  At the end of the day, when I give of myself and to others, with unconditional love I send a message that brings Hope to someone else, develops Trust where none exists or where it has been abused.

So as I spend these last days in this beautiful wonderful place called OREGUN not OREGONE - I rest in Hebrews 11:1 - my life verse that even at my darkest moments, and these have been many, I KNOW that God's promises will come to pass regardless of whether or not I believe, because He is the Hope, He became our Hope, and He will always be the Hope that not just binds us together, but fills us up when our cups are empty even if we don't see it that way.

So tonight, as I wind down and rest and wonder about what tomorrow brings I just close my eyes, rest in Him, and know that regardless I will always have lemonade!

Blessings,

marebear

WORRY

MareBearHitstheRoad Blogger - In 13 days I will ride off into the sunset or sunrise depending on the time of day and I will say Adieu to what has been my home for 22 years. Each day when I wake I realize I am one day closer to that time and thoughts have a tendency to be more focused on the bare essentials I will need when I arrive back home and am greeted by warmth and love from old friendships and new ones forged. We all have a tendency to worry, some more than others but at the end of the day is there really a whole heck of a lot we can do about the things we worry about?

I think often about will there be money enough for food, shelter, pet care, car expenses etc. And then I begin to think to myself what is the point of worrying over something that is A) in the future B) I can't control until I get there; and finally C) how will worrying solve those Potential problems.  God's word tells us to not worry, that if he cares so much for the sparrow in winter, how much more he cares for us. If he knows every thought before I have; every need before I see it; every event before I experience it then it stands to reason that He pretty much has got things under control.

When we worry we do not allow ourselves to truly trust God and His promise for blessings and not curses. He wants to give us the desires of our hearts and often this is not achieved, because when we worry we don't trust God and in that process may miss the very blessings he bestows.

I am not inclined for this to be a long blog this evening because I need to be working on something quite important, but I wanted to focus on worry because tonight particularly I am worried about a friend (well, many friends but one in particular tonight). And as I sit here words flowing, I think about how I have lifted this friend up in prayer that all is well, that this friend is ok, that whatever their need is that God will provide - in great abundance. So tonight, as you sit worrying about finances, clothing, employment or the well being of a friend, remember that God knows every hair on your head, every need that you have and the very nature and needs of your heart and those desires.

And for my friend, who seems to have something going on I lift you up, as you so often lift others with your wit and sense of humor, the way you are kind and generous with everyone you know, your willingness to help and encourage, I pray for you, and say thank you for being my friend - know that you are cared for and that you are loved for all these things you give to others, by giving of yourself. And I will not worry because I know that you are in the greatest hands of all - the hands of the Potter.

Blessings,

marebear

PRAYER

MareBearHitstheRoad Blogger - May 4, 2010, and exactly 2 weeks to the day until I hit the road and I am just so excited, that I just can't hide it and that's a great feeling. And it's a great feeling because I know there are people all over praying for this new Season of Change not just in my life, but in the lives that God will reach along the way.  I am a Prayer Warrior - I love to pray. I love to lift others up, their struggles, their needs, their successes, but most of all their lives. I do not know how many times in the bible reference is made to the need for us to pray but the above link should give you an idea of how important and the promise that comes when we pray. We should be praying not just for those that we know and love, but for our enemies, for the unloved or unlovable, for our governments both foreign and domestic. And interestingly enough, there is no single faith or religion, that I am aware of that does not advocate for prayer.

The power of prayer amazes and awes me. It is the single most important gift of love and sacrifice I can give to not just my God but my brothers and sisters, regardless of what they believe or do not believe. I have watched lives transformed, renewed and brought to life through warriors of prayer. I have witnessed God's mercy, majesty and grace through the answered prayers of not just me but of those that I know and some that I didn't know but had heard of and prayed for.

We pray to draw closer to God. He desires intimacy in His relationship with us. He desires, no - He passionately LONGS to answer our prayers and bring blessing upon blessing to His people, to us. I know that when I actively spend time in quiet praying for the lives and needs of others, I am blessed enormously through that single act. It leaves me with a feeling of humility and peace that I find only 2 other places - in the Word and in Fellowship and Worship with my fellow saints.  I have watched great healing come through prayer and I have watched prayers unanswered or rather - not answered yet or answered differently than we expect.

I love going to prayer nights or vigils and feel the movement of the Holy Spirit as God takes over and we step back. To some people prayer is all about asking for things, or money or power etc. But it is so much more than that - it is about bringing ourselves to our knees before God and baring our very souls in recognition of the omniscient and omnipotent God that rules over all the earth. Yes, He already knows our shame and sorrows, sins and sacrifice but when we seek Him in earnest through prayer we draw closer to Him, on his terms and not ours. We don't need to kneel before Him and tell him what we have been doing wrong, however we are to bring our confession or admission of sins to him with remorse and a desire to choose differently the next time around. To share with our King, our Father, our Dad all our dirty laundry and ask for His forgiveness not just for our unrighteous sinfulness, but also to share with Him our triumphs, successes and needs. God wants to bless us. He desires the best and most wonderful things for our lives, our families and for the world all together. In Jeremiah 29:13-14 it speaks clearly that if we seek Him we will find Him and in those times, if we pray, He will answer.

Being a prayer warrior takes no special talent or require book learnin' or a degree in theology. It requires nothing more than a willing heart to not just serve God but to serve each other. Anyone can pray. Anyone can prayer for anything he or she desires. Sometimes He says yes, sometimes no and sometimes he just says maybe. And maybe does not mean never, it means just that - may be...possibly down the road or possibly not in the way we may expect. So as I close this tonight, I want everyone to know, that while I may not call all the time, and I may not always say howdy or waz goin on, ALWAYS I want and will prayer for you, for all things that God has planned and wants to bless you with. We don't have to stop being who we are to pray - if anything - we should GO AS WE ARE because when we do we display and learn how to be humble and not prideful in what we pray for or for whom or what!

I ask that you would pray for me, as I pray for you, whoever you are that no matter what I can always bring the Light of Christ to bear much fruit in the lives of others, and in turn bear much fruit in me.

Blessings,

narebear

PATIENCE

MareBearHitstheRoad Blogger - May 2, 2010 - 16 Days - and impatience has NOT set in. My excitement is overwhelming at times, but I find that I am not so impatient to leave as I would normally be. Perhaps through the trials over the past few years, I am actually learning more through the stillness of patience for God to act, speak and fill my cup.  My time grows scarce and everyday is a juggling act and will become more so because my brother Brad is having some health issues that could turn serious. However, I know God is in control and I KNOW just like the sun WILL rise that God is not finished with this amazing and wonderful young man. If you would like to know more about Brad visit my Facebook page and click on my notes tab - over the balance of time I am here I am giving back to those that mean so much by honoring them with my heartfelt love and thanks via the written word. Which brings me back to Patience. I have been attaching links to a FB page called I expect God to ACT. Do you? I know I do! There is nothing I love more than watching His divine plans unfold right before my very eyes. Watching as he turns lemons into lemonades or takes a barren tree and produces wonderful fruit. But these things take time and patience is not something many people are best known for. Although I do know quite a few people in my circle of friends that exhibit and display this incredible gift.  I am beginning to enjoy the peace that comes through Patience even though my enthusiasm often wants to lead the charge and move faster than perhaps God would like. 


New Living Translation
We prove ourselves by our purity, our understanding, our patience, our kindness, by the Holy Spirit within us, and by our sincere love 2Corinthians6:5-7


I have always admired the patience I see in others. It is gift really, and something all of us struggle for a lifetime to gain control of. Often it is said never pray for patience...as often trials and tribulations may just test that very thing you seek and pray for. But God is infinitely patient. He sits quietly waiting, for us to turn to Him genuinely from our hearts and to trust Him with our every need. Some never come to that place of understanding while others see it as plain as the nose on their face.  But when we rest at the feet of Jesus, listening for His still quiet voice we can learn much, grow much and rest in everything. The scripture above is so profound in how it accurately describes how we get to that point of genuineness and freedom in our walk with God. Say it out loud for a moment, turn off the TV or the stereo, quiet your heart, mind and spirit and feel the verse fill you with a peace that only God can bring.



This verse is a lead in to what God deems perfect Love and is quite popular for weddings.  The verses about Love is Patient and Love is Kind. The above verse knocks me to my knees and flows in me with a great washing of our Father's love. The love that harbors us when we are alone and lost; it is the port by which we seek refuge during incredible storms and strife; it is the vessel upon which we sail when we choose Him over all other things.


I am so very excited over the upcoming move and the journey these past months have been; I am excited to share it with family, friends and loved ones because I know that whatever God has planned it will be for His Glory and not my selfishness or personal goals and desires. He already knows those things, so I will be patient to see how it all unfolds. But until then, I am having the time of life watching and listening and waiting as the months have turned into weeks which will turn into a matter of days very soon. I am excited to be excited but rather than try and control it all, I am trying to exercise great patience and wisdom and great counsel for what I know is God's incredible plan for the BFF.  As a vessel for Him to use, I am excited and eager to know His Vision for the BFF. I am not rushing to make choices that are not guided by the Holy Spirit and a spirit of patience.


Or maybe my eyes are just seeing things so much more clearly than ever before and I see that when I wait on the Lord, I am never disappointed but when I charge, like a bull in a china shop often, I miss the very beauty of what He has planned or the fruits of my labor. But I must also give credit where credit is due. Not only to God but to each and every person who has shared my life and missteps over the past 10 years. People who exhibited not just incredible patience in their own lives through their own private struggles and tidal waves, but who even in their strife - their love came through in their incredible display of patience as my little mustard seed tried to take root. It could not have been easy. Yet, they are still here in my life, supportive and loving and ever patient to see how it all turns out.


Even as I write these blogs or my tributes, I patiently wait as the flow of words come to be written, so as not to confuse or make light of things that are not just precious and dear, but words that may affect another through God's hand. I am so thankful that since this decision was made, I have waited and I have watched, to see how purposefully this has all come together.  But I am most patient now more than ever because I do not want to miss a single moment of the many wonderfully perfect memories that are going to be made over the next 2 weeks and on the journey East. I will stand in my faith with patience and with love, even if it is rejected or scorned. Such a small price in the big scheme of things. 

WASHING THE FEET OF OTHERS

MareBearHitstheRoad Blogger -Mayday 2010 - 16 days until I leave for NY and I get more excited by the day but at the same time, I am feeling the pangs of loss. Not loss of friendships and loved ones, but that I will not be here to just pop in and say hi and visit; or go to church and get THE MOST EXTRAORDINARY hugs you can imagine. Today, I want to talk about what "washing the feet of others" means and how we can practice this amazing gift everyday, with everyone, with just being in the details. As I have mentioned before, God is in the details and as such, I think He also wants us to be in the details too. He wants us all to love one another in extraordinary ways, under extraordinary circumstances, through extraordinary means.  


My calendar is so full over the next 16 days, I have no idea when I will have time to rest. So I have decided that I will rest in the knowledge that in my farewells, and words of love through my tributes to each person on Face book, that I will be in the details. Every kind word, every precious second, I will do my very best to share how my life has been altered because someone dared to step out and share their kindness, selflessness, generosity, compassion, friendship, love, forgiveness (LOTS OF THIS) and a million other special gifts each person has given to this unworthy soul.  


Jesus washed the feet of every life he encountered simply by sharing the message of Gospels of God's truth.  He literally washed the feet of the apostles.  In John 13:12-17 ²When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. "Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them. ¹³"You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. ¹⁴Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. ¹⁵I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. ¹⁶I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. ¹⁷Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.


This particular passage has always filled me with great humility and serves as a reminder of what we are called to do daily for each other. It is not enough to simply be kind to people. When you can sit before them and wash their feet, literally or otherwise, you lessen your need to be in the forefront and increase your blessings a thousand fold.  When you sit at the feet of another, pouring water over them and gently tender to their needs, you become a heart that serves a greater purpose. We all struggle with humility, face it we are of sin, always will be of sin and cannot escape sin.  But, when we wash the feet of others, for unselfish reasons, the act itself just done to be done in love and kindness, we grow not only has human beings, but we grow in our intimacy with God. He wants us to sit at His feet, and learn, listen and grow, draw near...but in order to do that we MUST become less so He can become more.


But more often than not, our humanness stands in the way; life stands in the way, or pride or desires of the heart, body or mind...Stand in the way. So how do we wash the feet of others so that we can draw closer to each other, to GOD?  I don't share this often because it was not done to impress or draw attention to myself, but I once had the unique and especially blessed moment to literally wash the feet of men and women I did not know, in a country I had never been, between bars that caused bruising on both my arms, in a third world prison environment using basins I bought on the street near the prison. I was on a missions trip to Nicaragua and the ministry I felt strongly led to was prison ministry. I believed that because of the emotional prison I lived in my whole life, I could uniquely identify with men and women behind physical bars. Prison is prison, regardless of whether it is self imposed mentally or emotionally or if it's high walls of concrete and steal bars. What is important here is not so much that I did this act, but how it changed me. I have never been the same since. It taught me what true humility is, how being humble can bring a peace and joy that cannot be found in any other place. It brings a sense of understanding and a bonding with that person or persons that you can get in no other way.  It is the same feeling I get when I pray unceasingly for others.  


But we don't need to go to foreign countries, to third world prisons, to wash the feet of our family. When you give selflessly of your time, with no expectation of ANYTHING in return then you are washing the feet of your brethren. When you do something for another, without the hope of accolades or "getting credit" then you are washing the feet of your brethren. When you take 5 minutes out of a conversation with another, to truly listen to them, encourage them, lift them up, lessening yourself so that they may be first....then you are washing the feet of your brethren.


All of my friends on face book, in this world, over the course of a lifetime approaching 50, have at some point or another done this for me...so as I become sentimental and reflective these days, and I share small sweet stories of giving and love I have received from this person or that, I wash their feet - it is such a small thing to give for those who give so much...


If you have read this, look around you, look not just at how others wash your feet but how you wash their's and reflect on that quietly for just a few minutes to appreciate the greatest blessing of them all..the blessing of unconditional love.


Blessings,


marebear