JESUS CHRIST- PART iii

Technically this actually my fourth message regarding JC and I am returning to an older post as it would appear that God has it mind for me to surrender up to Him all that I may be coveting, holding onto or not surrendering over to Him, trusting that He will carry my burdens through and through. Today I went to a different church call Church at the Gateway and I have been following this church for months and have actually added them to my facebook page. Last week when I went to a different church I knew immediately it would not be a new home for me. The sermon while at times was aligned with Scripture - at one point it was a resounding NOT in line with scripture and it was at that moment that I knew. However, the reason I even bring it up is because both churches had a similar message. And me being me, I was paying particularly close attention to this as right now since I am still settling in to life here in the apple, which has had many up and down moments, I needed to know what God needed for me to do. Regardless of where I go, there will always be a message that will speak to our hearts if we have hearts open to hear Him. When Surrender was the message 2 Sunday's in a row, I felt keenly a tug at my heart by the Holy Spirit. Surrendering is no simple task.

As in an earlier post, Surrending ourselves to God in ALL areas of our lives doesn't just require enormous faith and trust in the unseen, but also courage and strength to actually walk it. So what did Jesus do when he knew he was chosen by the Father to die so that we may know life? He obeyed. Always seeking God's will over our own desires of the flesh is a near impossible bit of business. We are human and will err over and over. But as we surrender to God each obstacle or thing that we hang on to, we often lose or miss the blessing in doing so. I love how God always delights me with His attention to detail. Perhaps that is why I have so much faith and trust in what I cannot see. The connection between the heart and the head is a mere 19 inches give or take; and while there are millions out there who believe in Jesus Christ, there are millions more that do not. One reason I believe is because we walk in a place of fear, or pride, or desire, or intellectualization. Now I can sit here and point out the flaws in every one of those things but that is beside my point.

When we fail to allow God to work in our lives or as we watch Him work in the lives of others, we often see sacrifice, sometimes great pain and heartache, and at other times genuine Faith, Hope and Love overflowing from believers every where. When we lay our lives at the Feet of Jesus, in essence we are asking "Lord, take me as I am, this lump of clay and help me to become the wonderful child of God you have always desired from me, from all your children. What parent does not delight deep within themselves because their child goes on to achieve a life of prosperity, provisioning, developing wisdom and sharing love and understanding with all they do? What parent would not give their eye teeth to watch the fruit of their labors succeed in life, in love, and in faith?  But in order to get there Surrendering our darkest most hidden desires is a difficult task. It requires immense Trust. And in the world we live in, trusting in people is become more and more difficult to find and recognize.

How do we surrender our selves without fear to Jesus Christ? Well, first we need to learn and grow in the Word. By studying the bible we gain insight and understanding, we see the parallels between the Old and New Testament and how they do not contradict each other. We begin to develop friendships and have fellowship with other believers, but also non believers - because it is through Christ living in us that we shine bright to others. But most important to Surrendering to God the father, we must learn to be obedient and that requires that we become a new creation in Christ. We are shedding our old life for a life far more bountiful and bearing much more fruit that if we are without Him. 

But there is one element I have deliberately left out and that is the surrendering of CONTROL. First and foremost control is only a perception. Ultimately we do not have control over anything but our own actions, words and deeds.  Control is a powerful motivator and one that stands as a great hurdle for all of us. How do we find a place in our hearts to wildly abandon what we believe  our needs are and how we get them for something that requires the simple act of Faith?  We do that by developing a heart like Jesus. We recognize that control is merely perceived and not achieved. I have learned over the past 10 years, through some very hard lessons, lessons that have been hard hitting and life changing, that I control absolutely nothing but how I react, respond and choose. And in those 3 areas is where the challenge lies because we are so determined to believe we can do it in our own strength. However, I have countless experiences I could share here that prove this very idea or concept.

The harder we try to manipulate and control things the more tenuous the balance becomes. It is like building a house of cards. Eventually, the cards cannot withstand the weight of all the cards above and therefore tumbles to the ground. When we try to control others, our lives to the point of or sacrifice of what is important for what we believe to be important, we lose sight of this very fact. As I grew to give my life over to God completely, and it is a struggle every single day with the flesh, the more control I give him over my life...interestingly enough I gain more control than if I had tried to do it in my flesh. I remember when I first started to do this, I was just in awe and amazement to see how things and situations seem to just fall into place as I let go, and LET GOD!

As the mission to serve our youth that are so important, takes shape, this is one area that I must trust GOD most with. I can do nothing in my flesh but be a faithful servant - He does the changing, I am simply a vessel at a time and season where he wants me to me - so that His WILL be done.  So tomorrow, as you go out and walk through your day, I challenge you to try not to control any aspect of your day. Give the day to God and for 24 hours watch how he aligns everything perfectly to His will...in some cases it may not appear to be a blessing but if you look very closely, you WILL find it. If you ask Him, He will hear. If you ask Him, He will answer. And if you obey, He is faithful to His word to bring us blessing upon blessing.

Pebble out....

JESUS CHRIST

When I was a little girl I experienced and saw things that no child should see or experience. As with any child who experiences great tragedy, abuse and pain, for many years I held onto it as if it were a warm fire on a cold evening. We blanket ourselves to protect the inside from crumbling. My mother, a devout (to the extreme) Catholic struggled with a variety of both physical and mental illnesses. She did not hesitate ever, that I can remember, to take the joy out of some of the most innocent child like moments that come along.  The flip side, was her intense guilt after every episode, and they were constant and many, was her incredible way of making each of us feel uniquely special. Now, I don't know about you but this mixed messaging can really screw you up.  You develop insecurities and shame, where none should  be. Fear of being abandon, and this was one of her biggest weapons, creeps in as an adult and rather than realize that it is unfounded and not real, you end up pushing people away through your own bad behavior because deep down inside you feel that you don't deserve anything, you are worthless.

But in spite of all the heartache and abuse, she gave us each something that could never be taken away. She introduced us to Jesus Christ. Now back then, early 60's, Catholicism was not what it is today. Strict adherence to "the rules" and "paying penance" and atonement were more the norm.  Well, as you can imagine, being a young child and getting all these mixed messages and signals in both family life and in a developing spiritual one..it was confusing. How do you discern truth from lie? What is real and what is merely a perception? Who isGod? And if he is this all loving God then why does he allow for bad things to happen to good people? I mean really, I was a mere baby with siblings below and above - we all we just kids trying to survive in an unimaginable situation and growing up at the same time. With Dad off working to support a family of 7 kids and a wife, it never surprised me that he was oblivious to the goings on in his absence. I remember I used to read my bible a lot. I enjoyed going to church but often found myself nodding off. And up until the tender age of 12 or 13, I think I really believed God was there.

Throughout my life, I have been blessed with some incredible WOW moments of Blessing~! Not just ordinary every day blessings, not that any blessing is ordinary, but the kind of blessings that make you go WOW, way to go GOD!  Now since I have shared so much of this stuff previously I will not take up space or your time in discussing the many times he saved my sorry butt. So tonight I want to share with you the Miracle of Jesus, the Miracle within every blessing and a foundation of WHO Christ is, through my eyes. I began this last night knowing this might be a several day blog. Because to try and even capture the essence of my BFF, my King, my Savior, I would need time.

Jesus Christ has rescued me from so many fires, where walls were crumbling around me and defeat appeared to be imminent. He has saved me from myself on 2 occasions, and saved me on 3 others from others. He has watched me since before I was even out of the womb and He knew who my parents would be, what my mother would do, what my father wouldn't do and the trials from day one to present. His word tells me He is my protector, my redeemer, my healer. He has kept me safe because he knew one day, according to HIS plan despite my best efforts to foil them, I would become the Daughter of Her King. That I would go on to serve in whatever way He wanted me to and that somehow in this inept and measly body and self I would bring glory to the Kingdom of Heaven.

When I had not filed taxes in a number of years and was getting my life in order, I was blessed with incredible IRS agents and State of Oregon agents that would not only be men and women of faith but who recognized the desire in me to turn my life into something that would honor God. When I gave up alcohol, a time of panic for me, He was there every step of the way - He was my AA. When I was hospitalized for what I thought was a potential heart attack and the bill was to the tune of $14000.00, he was there as I filled out the financial assistance paperwork reminding me to be truthful and not to worry, He was at the wheel. And, He was indeed...I was blessed to the tune of $14000.00 in assistance from the Hospital - they wrote off the whole amount. As I drew closer and closer to our incredible God, miracles began happening every day, within me - around me and through me. I was lit up like a candle stick with heavenly joy and wanted to shout it from  roof tops and share what I had come to know to be the truth.

At times of my deepest loneliness and loss, while He was silent and grieving with me, He WAS there. He taught me accountability and respect; the meaning of integrity and purpose; what Love is and more importantly, WHAT IT IS NOT. He graced my life for the past 10 years with the most amazing friends that He used to help mold and shape me, according to His will and not my own. Jesus doesn't force us to do anything. He doesn't cajole or trick us at all. He makes no false promises and never ever have I not felt Him near me. His word brings comfort and peace, joy and harmony to a world filled with chaos and disorder. Our times are as bad as they were during the time of Sodom and Gomorra, perhaps worse. Yet, at every twist and turn there He stands. I have watched the blessings and miracles in the lives of those I love and even those I am not so crazy about but love anyway. I have also watched as those who have no heart fixed toward heaven, faith or Jesus gain more and more and watched as those who devote their lives to him struggle with less and less. Yet they are the happiest of the 2 groups. Someone who has not come to receive and know Jesus might scoff or use intellect to validate their lack of belief rather than stand or sit, and have a meaningful conversation with someone like me...or my friends.

Last October, God's greatest blessing came when my brother took a few moments and stopped and prayed for me with his mom. For the past ten years I have been blessed with prayers that are in the thousands, maybe even tens of thousands because Jesus is in their hearts, their lives and will be throughout eternity, through their love I learned love. Through the trust I have learned through His faithfulness to me, I am able to give immeasurably of myself and what I have because He has taught me what is of value.  Through Jesus, my BFF I have peace and joy, hope and faith and a bounty of Love that I pray will bless others and I can be what He purposed me to be for Him.

Jesus is who He says he is. It is undeniable and without question in this believer's heart the Healer of all things that need healing in our lives. In my family we all turned out to be survivors, fighting the battles to keep sane, control and order. Each of us channel it differently and for different reasons. Some are still holding onto the hurts and bruises that their hearts and minds endured and causes them great moments of distress, loneliness and heartache. When I got here to NY on my second day, I went to the cemetery where my mother is buried. It amazed me that I even remembered where her tombstone was as I walked directly to it. Years earlier I would look upon her headstone and I was filled with doubt and fear, anger and maybe even hate. But as I stood there looking down, the tears streaming down my cheeks in the warm afternoon air, my heart was no longer battered and bruised but rather, it was filled with love and forgiveness. Another one of the amazing blessings over the years - Forgiveness. And not conditional forgiveness but real forgiveness. Because of Jesus I could remember my mother not as who she was but who God wanted her to be, and who she was in her belief. Mental Illness is a tragedy for so many people. It is killing men and women daily. It is killing our children.

When a child loses hope, the enemy creeps in and takes over. The abyss they crawl into is almost impossible to get out of. It is terrifying for me to imagine now, it is terrifying to our kids today. But there is an answer, a choice that can, will and does make a difference. Jesus Christ is a God of Love. Pure and Simple. He is sits patiently waiting for us to come to him, not forcing us to do anything but invite him into our lives and hearts. He is patient and kind, compassionate and full of grace. And His mercy, that is the real beauty of His love...it is unfailing mercy because of His unconditional love that sustains us when we are left feeling hopeless and alone. We cannot do ANYTHING ever ever ever, to lose His love and receive His mercy. What if we could bring that to our kids? What if we were to spend some time with these young hearts searching for their purpose and Hope in life. We live in an unforgiving world, but we do not have an unforgiving answer. We have Jesus.

As I purpose through to the finish line of this race and task that God has given me, I pray that those of you who read this blog will think to share it with a struggling teen or hurting kid. I have endless stories of unfailing love and forgiveness, but time has come to "pay it forward"..won't you? When I arrived here I was leery of the area and concerned for my well being and safety. Not quite a month later, I find myself saying Hi to my neighbors, something they are not used to. I find myself being blessed with kindness and love at every turn. And the only thing I can think to do is to give it back to someone else...pass this to a teen you know because maybe to you they don't seem in trouble but they might be. Or maybe they know someone who is, and they aren't sure how to reach out to that young life, friend, or whatever so use me. Use my heart to serve our kids all over, giving them Faith, Hope and Love in a way that in their heart of hearts they so desperately want and need.

Unconditionally pebble out...

BFF

Today is a special today because God laid it on my heart yesterday what  my next blog should be. Unfortunately, I worked so late last night and came home to computer problems that it has had to wait a day, which perhaps may be exactly what was supposed to happen. First, as everyone is aware, I made this dramatic and drastic change so that I might build the infrastructure and awareness of BFF International to wherever God leads it. As well, everyone knows that the BFF stands for Breiter Futures Foundation building up today's youth, through Faith, Hope and Love, for Brighter Tomorrows. 

For a moment however, I would like to draw your attention to the BFF slang and text terminology used today by almost every kid from 5 to 25 and over even. BFF stands for Best Friends Forever for those that do not know. It is also I think so fitting that as God whispered in my ears to start this organization that His sense of humor but also His keen involvement in the lives of all His children should so aptly be applied in the naming of this foundation.  The Mission Statement itself just makes me giggle every time I think of it or share it because, even in the naming of the foundation, God once again focused on the Vision and through a play on words here and there, creates immediate interest wherever I go and share with whomever about this important task God has begun.

So tonight, I want to share with you about my dearest and closest friend,- my BFF.  He is by far the single most inspirational friend I have ever had. He inspires me to grow at every step or mis-step, When I am weary from the long days or endless, and at times, the insurmountable obstacles I face, he is always there to lift me up and be my cheerleader.  His warmth and compassion, love and friendship, honesty and integrity never cease to amaze me and bring me to my knees in gratefulness and humility. He is the first one to give me truth when I need it and the first one to hold me when I get  it and can't deal or don't want to deal with it.

Long days, sleepless nights, he is always there to help bring a refreshing to me when I grow weary from the obstacles I face from the world around me. His tenderness and love, arms opened at all times to shelter me from even myself, is a one of the many tangible markers that he delivers flawlessly. Every detail attended to when called upon, he is there to help me manage and support me, even as I want to give up. We;ve known each other forever it seems, and yet each day he shows me something new that I have not seen or understood before. 

So I wanted to put a name to the face of my BFF - His name is Jesus Christ.. As Jesus sits at the thrown, I love to sit at his feet and listen, watch, learn, heal, be joyful, be at rest, find comfort and peace when I am in chaos and unsettlement,  Jesus, maker of my soul, the sacrifice for me, for you and all who choose to follow him, he is the ULTIMATE BFF - so once again, as I love to point out - God has such a terrific sense of humor, delight and the ultimate visionary when you look at it from where I sit. I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me! My BFF, Jesus gives me a heart and body, mind and spirit that is not filled with fear or remorse and regret...no He has given me righteousness before the Father, my BFF - YOUR BFF sits besides the Father and intercedes on our behalf when satan tries to remind God of this thing I did wrong or that one. My BFF is my shield, my rock and my redeemer - and I am so unworthy of that redemption in my eyes - BUT ONLY IN MY EYES. In his eyes, Jesus, BFF to the world I am made pure and whole when I invite him into my foyer, to the living room we sit, and shares with me intimately his love and devotion to me and to all of you. 

How many of us can walk through our lives KNOWING that our BFF is ready to take a bullet for us, go to bat for us during good times and bad; a BFF with so much unconditional love that it covers us like a warm fuzzy blanket. His blood is not a marker of my sinful nature but a symbol of His love for me, his BFF. Jesus Christ is the commander of this fleet we call humanity., satan may rule the world but out BFF protects us from the lies and falsehoods that our enemies would use to tear us down, including the enemy within us that so desperately longs to be at rest, unashamed, repentant, pure as a baby lamb and filled with a knowledge and understanding, that can only come from the most precious of places...from the heart of Jesus.

So as you read this, as you ponder the possibilities and absolute blessings that abide in everything no matter the circumstance - good or bad, meditate for a moment on the depth, the width and the breadth of the love and compassion your BFF has for you, wants to give to you and will always have for you. I will always profess openly my love for Jesus, my BFF....I will, at times, be afraid and unsure - but there he stands before me - with arms wide open, tender to cradle my hurts and wounds, fears and disappointments, dreams and passions not yet known...my BFF is at the ready with the Sword of the Spirit, Shield of Faith, the Belt of Truth and always with hos fee firmly fitted in the gospel of God's grace and fight my battles, applaud my triumphs and never not ever will he fail me. 

I have been blessed in this time of my life beyond measure and certainly more that I deserve, but at the end  of the day, as I lay my  head on his shoulders and share of my heart and hurts, joys and determination to serve Him as he so unfailingly serves me and all of us, I will smile and know that all that this journey has brought and is yet to be, will be always well lit by the greatest BFF known to man. 

Today, you can make a decision to be a part of Him, making him your BFF - you don't have to go out and do good deeds all over the place, he will not ask you to give up your bad habits or living right but when you choose Him over the world you are choosing life over death, and Love over everything else. 

Jesus, I love you I pray that others will come to know you if only through experiencing the peace and joy within me for you, his BFF. If but one person comes to healing through our Savior and King from these pages then I have been the BFF to Jesus.,,today will choose life over death? Will you choose to have a close and very personal relationship with your BFF or will you turn from heavenly treasures and serve a master that cares not for you or your soul but instead wants to destroy you where you stand?

BFF is not just Breiter Futures Foundation. BFF is about the ultimate relationship you will ever have! What will you choose?

pebble out....

DETERMINATION

Determination is an excellent characteristic or personality trait to have, as it leaves the world of opportunities at your feet. Determination can be fueled by good or bad intentions, by faith or lack of...but mostly determination is part of the drive that gives every living being the desire to move beyond perceived limitations or opportunity.

Telling a child that they can't do something and nine out ten times, that kid is going to be bound and determined to do the exact opposite of what you tell them. Tell an athlete that they can't achieve some athletic marker of success and I am am certain they will turn around and prove you wrong. Determination is part of what makes or breaks failure or success. And sometimes, determination that brings a successful outcome, one that may not be the most honorable or bearing fruit, can destroy you.

As I prayed for months over the decision to move here to NYC, I was determined to not stop praying for God's will and divine plan to reveal itself. I had no idea what or how I would pull it off much less not have a nervous breakdown in the process. There were so many hurdles that would need to be overcome, obstacles that could potentially arise, and of course, what If I didn't hear correctly God's plan. But through determination and sacrifice, prayer and courage that I can only say came from God, I pulled off something truly amazing. Was I determined to walk by Faith, with great Hope in my heart and the kind of determined Love for others to dare to make a difference? To all the above I say Yes!

What if we could demonstrate that kind of faithful determination of Faith, Hope and Love to kids everywhere simply through the determination to them give more than empty words and false promises. How would that look? What would be the fruit of such an act or actions? Where do we need to look to find that within ourselves to give unconditionally to others? Last I checked there is only one place I have ever found that kind of strength and courage, through Jesus Christ. I can guarantee you, in no uncertain terms, that I could not have achieved this most recent goal without Him and His hand in every moment of it. Through the determined prayers of friends and family, I believe that God opened every door on every leg of the this new journey.

He took away one job and the very next day replaced with something better! Now I got a lot of experience in a lot of arena's but frankly this singular event could be nothing more than a determined God to provide for His faithful child. My intentions, while always for the right reasons, with no malice or hurt intended ever, are determined to bring the glory and attention to God..as it should be. As I sit here writing, I am determined to see it through no what the sacrifice or the price tag it carries. Because I am determined to serve these kids, the youth of today with the passion and fervor that comes from the knowledge that it is because of God's determination to Love us unconditionally, giving us eternal grace and mercy, new everyday...that we Will succeed at BFF International. We are determined and in that determination we will watch and wait for God's leading to light our way and clear the path so that His Vision for this foundation will be achieved.

Everyone keeps telling me that what I have done is amazing or how brave and courageous I have been along he way...but the truth be told, while this type of transition is fraught with hardships, challenges and intense moments of fear...all that means nothing when I look into the eyes of a child who has received, is receiving Christ's Love through me.

Pebble out...Hebrews 11:1

SURRENDER

The biggest reason, I believe, that people fight the existence of God or have Faith is that it requires that we all surrender or die to our sin nature and become reborn in our Christ nature, as God intends. The reason that this is an incredible challenge for each and every one of us is because it requires that we change or let go or give up behavior, lifestyles, bad thinking, and everything else you can imagine. But the truth of the matter is we gain more Freedom in Christ than we lose.  

Most of us don't want to give up our bad habits, the things WE KNOW are not good for us emotionally, physically, psychologically and spiritually. We are that SELF absorbed in ourselves that we miss getting the message of what Christ stands for, what Faith is, how Hope is encouraged and fostered and what makes LOVE the most complex yet perfect gift we can share with each other.  Today as I sat in a new church for the first time, I listened, and my heart was not in the service - its Father's Day so pastors all over the US are preaching Fatherly messages. I was also very much distracted by my conversation earlier before service with God as I prayed for someone I know. As I cried because I knew what needed to happen for this person, anguish took over because the sacrifice is so great. 

How do we learn to surrender when we are not willing to release ourselves from trying to control everything or everyone? Faith is a curious thing, in that those that have deep and profound Faith seem to stumble and fall just like those without it; we make huge mistakes that sometimes we don't realize  impact the lives of others and our own. And we see those without Faith gain so much worldly riches and good fortune. So to the naked eye and the questioning heart why bother with Faith and God at all? It seems the evil and bad prosper while millions of others with Faith suffer in unimaginable ways. 

The other greatest reason we shun Faith and God, is because we believe so much in ourselves and our own ability that we cannot possibly imagine that there might be something greater then us.  How arrogant and prideful we are as people to believe that there is not a creator of the heavens and the earth. Scientists have proven time after time, and some have even come to a relationship with God, that there must be a GOD because there are so many millions of oddities in nature, complexities in the human body and the vastness of the Universe.  Linear minded folks usually have the hardest time with faith, in my opinion. Because for linear minded people, math genius' and the like, they cannot come up with an equation that makes it fit so they create something to make it fit...which as any math person knows, you can't do because numbers don't lie. So if numbers don't lie and you can't make up the equation what do you do?

Well most of us find something that works and follow the old adage, if it ain't broke why fix it. So along we go on our merry little way and strive to feed our feelings of insignificance with earthly things. And if you are reading this and you don't have faith I would challenge you to look at your life and the choices you make and try to tap into hindsight and I dare you to tell me that I am wrong.  I am not being compative, but rather I am trying to challenge my readers to look deep into where they find their significance and examine why they believe that?  

When we surrender to God our hearts, our lives...we need to think big picture. We need to examine what His wisdom and word say that are there to help us bear fruit and NOT be a barren Olive tree in the desert.  When I chose Christ, I made a conscious mind and heart decision to to my very best to be a good steward of what He has given me, the mercies the grace - all of it, so that I could follow Him. Ironically, what I thought would happen never did...there were no sacrifices because I love God so much that I try to see what is best for right living through His eyes and not my own. Therein lies the Freedom! Am I really benefitting by over spending, over drinking, over XXXXXXXX (you fill in the blank) or am I being a good steward of what God has provided for me?  Each time I seek His counsel and wisdom, while I am never surprised by what I hear, but brought to my knees for what I feel. God is an awesome God, a God of Love and Mercy. Who benefits if I go out spend 100 bucks and get drunk, suffering a horrible hangover in the morning? Who benefits if I max out my credit cards to purchase things that I can't even take with me when I die? Who benefits if I continually seek my significance in others, in things, position and power? Just think about it a while - let it settle in to a nice comfy place and think and meditate on it.

For most people surrendering means to give up, fail...However, if you see there the term Give Up...it means to let go of. Are you willing today to let go and let God?

pebble out....

REGRETS

Ever come to a startling realization that as you look back on your life you carry many more regrets than you thought you did. Why didn't I do this or enroll in that? Why did I leave this neighborhood for that one? Why did I waste so many years at the bottom of a bottle, unable to see bottom? The What If's and the Coulda, shoulda woulda's creep in every now and again for all of us. And it seems that as we get older we do it much more frequently than in our youth - which is a duh! moment, of course.  But what if (there it is) we were able to start our lives from a place where regrets have no place or meaning because really you can't go back and change it; you can't do anything right now about it; and to fret into the future over things done or not done....We can! And we can share that with others...it is found in the compassion and Love of Jesus Christ.

As I sat with friends tonight, I watched as they interacted - together for more than 30 years, and saw the companionship and friendship. I watched with eyes like Christ and what I would have to do to have such a thing. Then of course, negative and less than fruitful thinking crept in and next thing you know I am wallowing not just in my own self-pity but wondering why?  If this topic seems a bit morose or better yet, sounds morose and sad it is because as I sat there and watched and listened and observed, my love and compassion meter rose to a new level.

When I came to know Christ, I came to find my significance comes from but one source and one source only - Jesus!! In Him, I have mercy and grace, love and eternity. In Him, I do not need to look back over my life and regret anything because every mistake, mis-step and every wrong choice, brought me here - where I stand - naked before my King unblemished and white like snow. I am filled with the Living Water and not that of death and decay.  I have watched and even still have many friends and family who are unable to find the true Freedom that comes with a relationship with Jesus but instead only see their own inequity, flaws, mistake made and the list is endless.

So as I sit here, filled with a sort of sadness over the choices I made and what may or may not have happened had I chose differently...I need to remind myself that regardless of what the world sees, says or does, at the end of the day what matters is how I make my choices now and where I seek my counsel and choose to heed the wisdom that is given me. I am reminded of Solomon and the two mothers fighting over the baby. And how he calls to split the child in two, giving equal share to the other. But, horrified by this one of the mothers cries out "Stop" do not split this child in two as surely he will die. Give the child to the other womanr. At this Solomon said that she should take the infant, as truly if she were his mother what she had just done demonstrated her love for that small infant. Only a mother would behave this way.

Well, I think that sometimes when we make our choices through life we need perhaps choose things more wisely, with our eyes looking up and not out - just so that we can see the difference  between Sacrifice and Love. I am probably almost never going to always quote scripture or bible thump anyone, but I will always try to relay His heart for His children through my stories or insights or just plain ramblings. While I have regretted much of what I have done, in the heat of the moment, I look up and He reminds me that I am significant because of my relationship with Christ and how everything along the way was like adding seasonings to a fine gourmet dish. A little of this, a little of that and then next thing you know you are a creation totally different than you were. I like to call it being on the wheel..the Potter's wheel.

He brings to where we are through the lives and choices we have lived or made. He loves where we were, He loves us where we stand now and He will love us through every mistake, every triumph and every hurdle we face. In that there is no regret. However, some times you just might find yourself struggling with what you want to do and what He wants you to do!  He is the ultimate Father of the Year. Making the hard choices - it is one of the most difficult things we do and when we step out on faith and rather than choose the flesh, we must remember that one day in the not to distant future...a consequence, a price as it were, will need to be faced.

There is only one way I know of to avoid living in a life filled with regrets and disappointment - it is to live a life in Christ, choosing the high road over the easy or tempting one. I also know it is the hardest walk you will ever make...because to be true to Jesus is to walk in the open and not in darkness. I could quote or list passage after passage but all in - it isn't about living right it is about right living...2 totally different things. One makes it about Him - the other makes it about me.

pebble out....

CHOICES

The last few days have been difficult, as I unexpectedly got a job, on the spot, in a field I have what I like to think as great experience. It came at a time when I had just lost a client back home, which while anticipated, came quicker than I had expected, as well. God being the incredibly awesome God that He is, just took care of things swift as you can take a breathe or blink an eye!  And because I really trust God to ultimately provide for my immediate and long term needs, worry did not even come into play. He has blessed this journey in ways unimaginable, and at the times of greatest doubt, filled me with a sense of Peace that when I rest in Him, Trust in Him, rely fully on HIM...anything is possible.

I have been quite reflective of my own sad state of being lately, taking stock at a time of incredible change and turmoil, of sorts. I have spent the better part of 5 months living out of suitcases and boxes and while it is heading into the close of week 3 I find that I am unable to settle in, quite as quickly as I had hoped. Nothing horrific has changed or happened, quite the contrary - everything has gone most smoothly and almost without incident. But the conflict that has me out of sorts is within me and the massive change and choices that I made to embark on this new chapter of what I know will bring others to know Christ as I grow to know Him. Continue to know Him deeper everyday. 

When we go into the world with Faith to share as missionaries, and this is a calling - almost not even a choice,  we face obstacles that seem insurmountable and like stone walls. Most everyone in the world has some sort of faith, even if it is in nothing at all...which is the most desolate of all faiths, because it is hollow and empty leaving one without purpose. Once a practicing agnostic and atheist and existentialist, I found myself always in conflict with, well everything. I have practiced Buddhism, Catholicism, Lutheran, a dab of Methodist and southern Baptist. I have explored Hinduism and New Ageism and all and all walked away with way too much guilt, selfishness, hollowed out belief in myself over something that is seen but unseen, heard but unheard, tasted but not tasted, breather of life and taker of life. 

But within every faith or religion, the talk of choice is not a primary focus on why things occur or why that person died in 9/11 and that one didn't; why some are sent to Iraq and don't return while others return lost, angry, desolate and battered by the ravage of war. Why is it that some people appear to have great success after working hard and being goal centric and others, also working hard never seem to get their heads above water.  Why is one child born deaf and another blind, while some are chosen to be destroyed before life outside the womb is ever achieved? I could list a million scenarios but the bottom line is, if you ask any two people one of these questions, you will never get the same answer. As well, I do not believe that a majority of the people out there would ever answer with a resounding "it is because of choices made in my life".  

Most of us go through life blaming everything on someone, something, some event that happened in their life that acted as a catalyst leading to future events. And to a great extent that is true. However, also to be acknowledged is that every decision, every choice is going to bring about a change or cataclysmic event that will alter the course and direction of our lives, as WE MAKE THE CHOICE. For some, they play it safe and never move beyond the boundaries of what is safe and easy. Others seem to float through life making bad choices and doing bad things and getting away with it all the time without consequence. And sometimes, people are unable to choose and so their lives are always in flux or chaos, without direction.  What all of these share in common are they all share similar fates or outcomes, at least in my opinion. A life without purpose serves only oneself and fails to fill the glass because the glass has no bottom.

Choice is Freedom. We have the freedom to choose good over bad; right over wrong; Faith in God versus no faith in God. Choosing to be stubborn and prideful, versus pliable and humble is a choice that more often than not, brings heartaches, anger, desolation and a myriad of other feelings or things that inevitably fail to fill us up or please our insatiable desire for the I want's or I have's.  God, when he created man, gave us Free Will and the Choice to follow our Dad's leading into the safe and sound arms of His Love and Protection.  Instead, because HE DID give us the ability and will to choose for ourselves, we chose and that choice has cost man so much over the millenniums. Many would argue this point and while, I respect and will and do love to hear opposing ideas or opinions, please send me a post and I will be delighted to have that open discussion. For the sake of this blog however, the question is the Freedom to Choose.

What makes one man or woman choose to be good while another chooses bad or evil? What makes one child suffer more than another? How can a good and loving God allow for bad things to happen to Good people? Well really, these questions are simply answered with one thing..We were given a choice in the garden, 2 people - the start of humankind - to heed Dad's advice or well - Not. It is really that simple. That one decision, that single CHOICE set in motion a chain of events that to this day, most of us cannot even understand or fathom.

Let me simplify. My Dad gives me a new car. He says I can drive that car anytime I want, I can enjoy it anytime I want but I am not aloud to let ANYONE else drive that car. If I allow anyone else to drive that car it will set in motion a chain of events or consequences not yet known or seen. Well, me being a stubborn and prideful child decide that Dad doesn't know best and I can make my own decisions, and go out one night and let my friend drive my car. Subsequently, my friend runs someone over, causes a head on collision and then wraps us both around a telephone poll. Now, I am lying in the hospital and paralyzed from the waist down, my friend is in a coma, the person they hit is dead and the on car collision had no survivors and had a family of 4 in the car, which included a young infant and a pregnant mother.

As I lie there in the hospital, body, mind and spirit battered and bruised, my Dad walks in and I look at him with scorn and anger and hurt. If he hadn't given me the car, let me drive it whenever instead of putting stricter rules in place, I wouldn't be here.  This my friends is the logic so many people in this world use when bad things happen to good people. Let me put it this way - ever trace a conversation over the course of a couple of hours backwards? It's like that.  God is our Dad, he created us for His Glory and with the Freedom to choose life over death. Every time we make a choice it WILL and DOES have a consequence that can be devastating or enriching. It is how we decided to make that choice that is the catalyst to reflect on. I chose to let my friend drive the car. I disobeyed my Dad. I chose to do what I wanted rather than think through it and heed the advice and request of my Dad who loves me and wants to look out for me. And the consequence of that choice, that split second decision came with a price tag that can never be paid.

When Jesus Chose to be the Living Sacrifice for us, He knew the consequence of that choice. He was sent specifically for that purpose, to give us redemption - Dad's prideful, stubborn and self-serving children needed something or someone to get our attention and share with us first hand knowledge of the Love of our Father for His children, His Hopes for us and to bring us a glimpse of what Faith can and will do when we choose it!

What will you choose? When do we stop blaming God and begin to reflect inward at the consequences of our sins, our actions and our choices? Everything is a choice and every choice will have a positive or negative consequence...what will you choose?

Pebble out...

FAILURE

Webster's dictionary defines failure as :http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/failure

Main Entry: fail·ure 

Pronunciation: \ˈfāl-yər\

Function: noun

Etymology: alteration of earlier failer, from Anglo-French, from Old Frenchfaillir to fail

Date: 1643

1 a : omission of occurrence or performance; specifically : a failing to perform a duty or expected action  b (1) : a state of inability to perform a normal function <kidney failure> — compare heart failure (2) : an abrupt cessation of normal functioning  c : a fracturing or giving way under stress 
2 a : lack of success b : a failing in business : bankruptcy
3 a : a falling short : deficiency  b : deterioration, decay
4 : one that has failed

Failure is inevitable in our lives as it is with any endeavor where the odds are stacked against the deck. A new job, new relationship, new family, new anything is frought with challenge and can become subject to success or failure. But what is success and failure? Is success only achieved when the goal is met or is success achieved when we measure the goal met? Perhaps you endeavor to go out and save the world and save one, is that a success or a failure? You went out with good intentions of helping as many people as possible but end up helping only the one. Same with failure, you try to weigh out all the scenarios seeking to be a success at the endeavor, dotting your I's and crossing those T's, but at the end of the day, have you truly failed or is it a perception of failure within us? In our humanity we measure both of these intentions or goals either bad or good. No middle ground typically, and if there is any well....did we see it, get there and appreciate that place of middle ground? Where the task was achieved, but the ultimate goal fell short of the mark?

With Faith we often see ourselves as either miserable failures, or getting prideful and think too much of ourselves. And as we mature, and humility is better understood and learned by the believer, there comes a middle ground that can be the ultimate success or ultimate failure in our faith. When I began this journey months ago I had lofty goals and hopes and dreams. Being a logistical person, analytical yet to my dismay many times, far too emotional, I weighed the pros and cons. I mapped the plan, I steadied myself for the course, I looked up and not out or in. I knew that whatever I happened, the captain of my ship would not allow for me to fail if I ran the good race and kept eyes focused on the task and the prize to be (ACTS 20:24). As I continue to do that I find that what is more the challenge, rather than meeting those markers of success or failure, is emotions and my heart.

For kids today the pressures of pass or fail are inevitable, as they were from prior generations. I am constantly reminded, within my own mind only, that failure is often a perception we create for ourselves, based on human measures and understanding and not on how God measures us. The Bible reminds us in Lamentations 3:22-23 "²² Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. ²³ They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."  How many of us can offer this to our neighbor, our friend, our family our children. Most parents are excellent at this, but often kids are under so much pressure to succeed and to "please Mom and/or Dad that they build them up into a frenzy of unimaginable proportions and unrealistic goals and expectations.  This is a vicious cycle and it needs to be broken and I think now, more than ever parents are working diligently to achieve that. 


Not ever having had children, I can only imagine the enormity of that responsibility and everything in between. I cannot even fathom what a parent goes through day, in and day out...but I do respect it, admire wonderful parenting skills that I see so often in friends of mine with their children. But I also see something else. I see the pain and suffering that is going unnoticed. Homelessness among children and teenagers is on the rise. Suicide, depression and self-mutilation are on the rise; drug and alcohol and drug abuse continue to be a problem, just as they were 30, 40, 50 and 60 years ago (and maybe longer); teen trafficking is getting the awareness that we need but as an earlier blog pointed out, these kids are not being equipped with the Armor they need to fight a world that really and truly feels like the modern day Sodom and Gomorra.


Every where we look we are bomblasted by all the wrong messages and rarely many of the right ones. That is not to say that the end is near and in 2012 the world will come to an end. What I am trying to share here is that we all need to take a stand for children locally, nationally, and globally in order to achieve what feels impossible...save lives!  And FAILURE is not an option. In moving to NY and setting up my base of ops, I have failed miserably in several key areas - acclimation, communication, over-expectation and grace - but not for others...for myself. 


Faced with 4 of the 5 major stressors we can have in our lives, I have been wallowing in my failure to be perfect in making the changes needed in my new environment. I have been running in over drive because I don't want to fail, I don't want to lose sight of the big picture, I do not want to let anyone down....especially these kids and most of all GOD.  As time passes, and I begin to settle and the missing of everything loved and familiar changes into new loves and new familiarities, I must give myself the grace and mercy that GOD gives me anew each day. Well, just as you and I need that little friendly reminder - so too do our children.


They need to hear, see and know...feel, that efforts made for the right reasons can not be failures because the only real failure is when we stop trying. When we stop trying to simply Love one another, to fill our friends and family, even those we barely know - to fill them up with words of encouragement and HOPE; and remind ourselves daily that through faith in that which we cannot see we can achieve everything in life regardless of the "life" actualities. Fear and Failure go hand in hand. Through fear we allow a sense of failure to creep in and take hold. THIS IS A LIE AND A TRICK!!!   God did not give us a spirit of fear, but one of power and love and a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7.  Do not let the other side win. Failure cannot exist if you stand firmly in your faith, knowing that putting your best effort to the task, with the key elements in place - Faith, Hope and Love...you always will WIN. For it is not the measurement of success or failure on earth that matters...but the measurement by God as we stand before Him, and He turns us around...and tells us "Well done, my good and faithful servant".  And as we stand at the shore, with all the pebbles that were thrown and cast into the water, it is then we will know and see our faithfulness in its full and complete glory.


My greatest Prayer for this journey for BFF is that every effort I make, while not necessarily a measurable success by man's standards, ARE always a resounding success by God's!


Pebble out...

PASSION

Passion is a powerful emotion that can be and usually is exhibited in a multitude of ways. It is a love language all its own because it encompasses all five of them in how they are offered. For reference the Five Love Languages are:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch

For most of us we have one or two that we are most responsive too; and there are others that give and want all of them. We all need to have our language valued and understood and the need met. And often we show that through a passionate display of some sort that speaks to the need of another we are trying to affirm or encourage.  I have a passionate need and desire to encourage and give to others with all of my heart. I also am passionate about the gifts that I choose to give to others, and often the ones I wish to receive. Physical touch, the warmth of a hug, the tenderness of a kiss on the cheek from a cherished friend, or that ever so subtle way that someone greets you, arm outstretched reaching in a more intimate non-sexual way to say hello and last but never least is How we are Affirmed. As many of you probably have already guessed I am passionate in everything that I do, and it often gets me into trouble because I invariably do something unintentionally that negatively impacts another.

Well, so do kids. Kids are passionate about life because it is new and exciting and filled with all the do's and don'ts that go with growing up. Some become passionate early on for music or sports, knowledge or faith; love and family. But Passion mis-directed or misguided can lead to unimaginable problems, mistakes and bad decisions. It also can lead one into dangerous waters that none of us could ever even fathom.  It is the goal of every parent to protect their children but we live in a different world than we did 50 years ago, 30 years ago, 10 years ago. We live in a world that at every turn we are stimulated by advertising, seduction through all media types, the internet particularly, each other, and what drives all this - are the desires of our hearts - the Passions, as it were, that we seek to fill whatever need or void or love language that is not being fulfilled.

In the Passion of the Christ we watch as Christ Passionately shares the message of His Ministry and the basis for Christianity. We watch as He accepts the pain and suffering on our behalf - because WE ARE His Passion. John 3:16 - For God so loved the world that He sent His only begotten son to die for our sins, so that we might know eternal salvation or eternal life with God. I reiterate that my quotations are usually loosely recited because I would rather share the word mono e mono than worry about whether it is grammatically correct to some version of the Bible. But I stray from my point. Many of you have probably seen the movie; many have not. But I doubt there is a single person in the Western World and a few others in between who has not heard the message of Jesus Christ or of the Movie that so profoundly and heart wrenchingly affected the lives of more than a billion people all over the world.

Without Christ's Passion for us, we would not know the freedom that comes from living with Christ, in Christ, for Christ. His Passion drove everything He did, said, preached, loved, healed and however else he shared the Passion. God's Passion for us is so unimaginably powerful and overwhelming that we cannot even believe in it or receive it because it is so vast and grand and perfect.

Our children today, are more aware, more savvy, more in touch with the world than in any other time in history. They are passionate about politics, the environment, teen issues, anti-drugs and alcohol messaging, etc. They are smarter and more able to multi-task than most of us adults can even fathom. They are incredible. But what about the ones that are buried behind walls of depression, drug and alcohol abuse, homelessness, loveless familial home environments, and a myriad of other what if's you can think of. Who is serving their need to have their passions met - their dreams of a life that is better and more fulfilling than what they have? 

As I settle in here, I walk out my front door and I look to my left, I look to my right and I look down in front and I see the lost kids, the kids bombarded by all the wrong messages and influence and none of the right. 3 Blocks from my house, they're selling crack and meth, out in the open in broad daylight...to kids no older than Emilio and Ingrid, Miranda or Jordan. Pick one of our children and I see one of them struggling, fighting for their lives to reach their Passions in a positive way, and not through the negative influence that surrounds them on their own front porch.

In my Passion to make my new home, my home I stepped on some toes, unwittingly...but it made me stop and think about these kids and how will God teach me to help them, teach them, minister to them,, love them unconditionally so that they know their Passions for Dreams of Something better, greater than what they see around them is out there - waiting, arms wide open....Isaiah 55 and Isaiah 40:31. How will Breiter Futures provide those Brighter Futures? How will that message of Passion be conveyed that will bring meaning to these young lives, young hearts and children of God.

Find their passion, tap into it, encourage and nurture it...and let God be God. And do it all through your passionate Faith, abundance of Hope and unconditional Love. 

Pebble out...

MareBear Hits the Road for Breiter Futures Foundation: CHALLENGE

http://marebearhitstheroad.blogspot.com/p/child-lostonly-to-be-found.html

CHALLENGE

Often when God closes one door, invariably another one opens. But the challenge I find most often the hardest is not the closed door but the disappointment that I immediately feel. The insecurity it wells up inside me. The sense of failure that so often follows a loss. While I am not inclined to share the closing door, I am eager to see what is in store for the future. As unsure as I am about everything right now including where God wants me to go to church, I am sure that I am under angels wings protected from the elements. The elements are this life we live and how we live it. As I wrote about crossroads a few months ago, I once again (now that things have begun to settle) find myself quietly sitting at the four corners, sitting in the road, knees to my chin, head looking out, squinting in the harsh sunlight and dusty prairie whipping around me and ask "what now"?

Most people can count on one hand how many times they have uprooted their lives for a new job or relationship or cause. It is not a common thing nor is it "normal".  I am certain there are statistics on this phenom but really it is besides the point. As I sit at this intersection, curious as to how this will all play out, I think about the kids out there that feel this way immediately as they hit puberty. They sit at a crossroads everyday wondering will they be liked at school? Will they be popular and part of the accepted crowd or will they be ostracized because they are different, smart, unusually talented or attractive or unattractive? Will they be pushed and prodded into trying drugs, alcohol, gambling, internet porn? Will they step out their front doors only to be snatched up and sold into the sex trade slavery that is a very big reality right now? Their world is constantly filled with what if', if only, and why nots!  Their world is similar to our world except for one major factor, they are just kids. I say that not to be condescending but to be factual in that how and what they face is received, perceived and distorted by that very fact.

Every day they wake up and a new challenge awaits them and it is not something they can expect because they are kids. Kids shouldn't have to wake up in the morning and think about will I be pressured to smoke a joint or try crack; will I find out my friend just committed suicide when no one even grasped he/she was depressed or why; will  my Dad beat the crap out of my Mom again today or will I have to stand up for my sister and take the beating so she isn't abused? Today, will I walk out my front door and be grabbed by somebody, drugged and live a life I did not choose because the world creates monsters of greed, caring not how they attain it but how much they will gain because of it?  Today will my life as a good Christian youth, filled with the Faith that moves mountains, be shattered by the sin of this world and those that choose death over life?

When secular attempts to work with faith-based, it usually fails. It fails because we live in a PC world with PC rules and PC mentality. Will this person's rights be trampled on so that a particular faith or belief can be shared, so that the receiver can CHOOSE for themselves what life to choose. I have spent time, albeit I am no theologian, studying the various faiths and religions. And in all but one, there is a running theme. The theme that if we do enough good, treat each other with enough love and kindness, if we do enough deeds for humanity and each other, or if we give enough money....then we achieve the Gift of God's Grace and we will go to heaven, nirvana, next life or whatever. All of them tell us that it is through ourselves that we achieve God's favor hence heaven bound we go.  Excluding Christianity. Christianity, at its heart is not about anything we/I can do but what Christ did for US/ME and our acceptance of that fact. When the secular world, which includes people of all faiths and religions simply hear the term Faith-Based, antennae's are raised and logic, law and legalism take the place of the invisible, immeasurable, incredible belief in God, in Jesus Christ.

But I believe that God's vision for our children transcends the barriers we have put in place and goes beyond our human imaginations of what our children need. His vision, which I only get a glimpse of here and there, is like Him, larger than life, greater than the heavens and the earth, beyond universes and beyond our humanity and our minds ability to capture just an infinitesimal idea of who and what God is. As God is in everything so too is God in each of us. To what degree we accept this, is our human heart Choice. Our children need to know what the choices are, they need a place to learn about those choices, and they need to be shown it in the same way Christ did - through Love, through Faith, through Hope. In no other religion do we hear this consistent message. How many of us would sacrifice our only child so that all of humanity would know salvation from our very own sin? Are you an Abraham? Are you the Isaac? Genesis 22 God commands Abraham to take his only son to the top of the mountain and make a living sacrifice of him to God. Abraham, obedient to God, does exactly that. Now frankly how many of us, trust whatever God you believe in, trust GOD enough to do this same thing and know that He will provide a suitable offering rather than take our child?  

So I ask you this, "Do you Believe in GOD?" or "Do you Believe GOD!" "Do you Trust in GOD?" or "Do you Trust GOD!"  I BELIEVE GOD. I believe that His word is the way the truth and the light for all of us. I believe GOD when His word tells me that He has plans for Good and not for Evil (Jeremiah 29:11-15). I TRUST GOD with my life and that means every little detail of it. When I felt the leading to come here to NY, it was important that I have a place that would accommodate my pets. However, I was fully prepared to give them up (as they are his and not mine - ie sacrifice) in order to be obedient to this calling for the BFF.  

God does not want you to sacrifice your children on an alter, He wants you to give your heart and life to Him who created it. In so doing, a TRUST is formed and Belief is strengthened and Hope springs eternal. Will bad things happen - you bet! Will wrong choices have unavoidable consequences - without a doubt! Can we make a difference by simply setting aside our differences and replace them with what we have in common, so that our children, and their children will BE - no question!

I have created a special page to this message to share what it means to be an At-Risk kid. This was real life and what is in this open letter only scratches the surface. Make a commitment today - a commitment to something bigger than we are; humble yourself to a place of love for our children, all of them, not just the ones you birthed....present them to the one true living God as a pure and holy sacrifice, and watch as God provides endless possibilities at the alter.

Pebbles out....

SEASONS

MareBearHitstheRoad Blogger - I have only blogged once since my arrival here in the Big Apple, and as many of you can imagine, it has really been challenging in more ways than I expected.  Being a Native New Yorker and Native Oregonian presents special experiences and opportunities for growth and learning and change. Often in our faith we speak of Seasons as it relates to experiences with a person, a job, a home, things etc. It is a beautiful way to describe various times and experiences that affect us in profound and deeply emotional ways both positive and negative.  As I approach the close of my first real week here I find myself searching deep within my heart to unscramble all of the sights and smells and sounds but mostly the change that is in play.  I have been welcomed with the same open and loving arms that embraced me with love and friendship when I left. I have enjoyed spending time with old friends from more than 35 years ago to new friends from old friendships passed along.

Environmentally speaking, I have been blessed with a roof over my head and a home for my 4 fur faces that has come graciously with not just a low price tag but with a couple of months worth of grace thrown in, until I can establish a steady income.  After some hard days of cleaning and sweeping and washing, half of my new home has become quite homey. Even though most everything in it is not mine, sans the computer and a few odds and ends, my few little touches gives me a sense of belonging. The dogs have settled in wonderfully but since they are driven emotionally by their human buds, I fully expected very little change in them. Elmer and Kaijin have also settled in a bit, but their season of change requires much more adaptation than Asa and Kiah.  But all in all, exploration and excitement seems to be their new yardstick by which I gage thumbs up or thumbs down.

This move, so dramatic and in some ways traumatic, is reminiscent of the many times God asks his children to walk away from what is comfortable to what is unknown. He demands, in a way, that we walk by Faith and not by Sight!  And His word tells how to do that. Not just here and there but every page of the bible we read passage after passage that we must be willing to walk in places where our comforts come last and He come first. But in those same pages, passage after passage we are also told that HE WILL NOT forsake His children. Sometimes we will walk in what are known as seasons of darkness, where we cannot Hear Him, do not Feel Him, cannot Find Him. These cold winters are often filled with loneliness, fear, despair and disappointment. His silence in these times is deafening and crushing. His will unclear, our path unlit, our present an abyss.  And then there are those times when Spring has arrived with such a force that even the blossoms themselves seem to bursting with tremendous love, energy, a well spring of life. Where with each breath we take or every step we move, we can hear the buzzing in our hearts of God working within us, around us and through us!

Summer and Fall which always seem to come and go, maybe with not as much intensity as they are more seasons of rest and comfort, are still important. I think that during these seasons we experience God in a quietly dramatic way. We become filled with a sense of renewal and refreshing. The winds don't necessarily blow as hard or as long as when we are in the Winter of His Grace. But it is perhaps during the fiery heat of summer when we experience the refiners fire or the blustering wind of fall, when the leaves on the trees fall and swirl about our feet that we can learn the most of what is in store, if we simply walk by Faith and Trust what we cannot see in the wind and rain.

In Isaiah 54 we are reminded that God is the great Commander of our Vessel, which is our life, and as Commander we must learn to trust that He knows the seas and seasons by which we will travel. We must act and be the crew that surrenders their loyalty, faith, trust, fears, understanding and be at the ready when He commands us to raise the sails, or lower the boom; standing at the ready to follow where there is no light; sail when the waves are 30 feet high; or simply be patience and watch as He navigates the waters.  Why? Because we BELONG TO HIM. We are His children and He will not forsake anyone of us. He will leave the 99 to save the 1. And he never does this without a purpose. Even when he knows what we will do, He will see His purpose through.

Some would question then why bother, if he knows our choices before we make them, then why bother choosing in the first place? Some would question whether we are not simply an experiment by God, in a test tube, as it were?  But I would say to them, that is not possible. Because we cannot even fathom in our hearts, minds or spirits all that God has planned. Yes, He knows what we will do before we do it. However, the difference to remember is that WE ARE MAKING THE CHOICE NOT GOD. So predetermination is not the possibility. If we are simply the experiment, puppets doing God's bidding then why have we been given "the opportunity of CHOICE". My point here is that whatever you believe, wherever or whatever you worship examine the season you are in and how you got there.  Did you get there because of the choices or a choice you made long ago, that created a ripple that caused a wave? Are you there because GOD put you there? Are you a drone, in a sea of drones plodding through life aimless, without purpose blaming God for your station or lack there of, in life?

God knew the day He created my life who my parents were, who my siblings would be and all that those 2 things entail. The sadness, the abuse, the horrors, the triumphs, the CHOICES, and the day I would choose Him over all things. He did not make my parents do the things they did; He did not take the lives of my siblings because of choices they made; He did not make my siblings choose the paths they each took. The only thing that I am certain He did do was give me the parents He chose for me; the siblings He wanted for me; and the rest was humanity. He knew before I was born that one day, as I sat at a women's retreat, that I would turn to Him and Rest. And as the seasons have come and gone, some good and some bad, He knew that I would KNOW....that regardless of the Season or the Choice, He would love me no matter what.

So as I begin this Season of Change for Breiter Futures Foundation, I truly believe that I am covered by the sails of my Captain. That whatever choices I make, that He will Shine so brightly through me that others will want to ask where or more likely WHY are you so happy, joyful, encouraging or whatever it is and in that moment, as I look UP and not OUT....I will smile a broad and bright smile and simply share the message of Jesus Christ. A message that is ALL about Faith, Hope and Love and not about leaning on my own understanding...allowing others to see it too!

Pebble out.....