REGRETS

Ever come to a startling realization that as you look back on your life you carry many more regrets than you thought you did. Why didn't I do this or enroll in that? Why did I leave this neighborhood for that one? Why did I waste so many years at the bottom of a bottle, unable to see bottom? The What If's and the Coulda, shoulda woulda's creep in every now and again for all of us. And it seems that as we get older we do it much more frequently than in our youth - which is a duh! moment, of course.  But what if (there it is) we were able to start our lives from a place where regrets have no place or meaning because really you can't go back and change it; you can't do anything right now about it; and to fret into the future over things done or not done....We can! And we can share that with others...it is found in the compassion and Love of Jesus Christ.

As I sat with friends tonight, I watched as they interacted - together for more than 30 years, and saw the companionship and friendship. I watched with eyes like Christ and what I would have to do to have such a thing. Then of course, negative and less than fruitful thinking crept in and next thing you know I am wallowing not just in my own self-pity but wondering why?  If this topic seems a bit morose or better yet, sounds morose and sad it is because as I sat there and watched and listened and observed, my love and compassion meter rose to a new level.

When I came to know Christ, I came to find my significance comes from but one source and one source only - Jesus!! In Him, I have mercy and grace, love and eternity. In Him, I do not need to look back over my life and regret anything because every mistake, mis-step and every wrong choice, brought me here - where I stand - naked before my King unblemished and white like snow. I am filled with the Living Water and not that of death and decay.  I have watched and even still have many friends and family who are unable to find the true Freedom that comes with a relationship with Jesus but instead only see their own inequity, flaws, mistake made and the list is endless.

So as I sit here, filled with a sort of sadness over the choices I made and what may or may not have happened had I chose differently...I need to remind myself that regardless of what the world sees, says or does, at the end of the day what matters is how I make my choices now and where I seek my counsel and choose to heed the wisdom that is given me. I am reminded of Solomon and the two mothers fighting over the baby. And how he calls to split the child in two, giving equal share to the other. But, horrified by this one of the mothers cries out "Stop" do not split this child in two as surely he will die. Give the child to the other womanr. At this Solomon said that she should take the infant, as truly if she were his mother what she had just done demonstrated her love for that small infant. Only a mother would behave this way.

Well, I think that sometimes when we make our choices through life we need perhaps choose things more wisely, with our eyes looking up and not out - just so that we can see the difference  between Sacrifice and Love. I am probably almost never going to always quote scripture or bible thump anyone, but I will always try to relay His heart for His children through my stories or insights or just plain ramblings. While I have regretted much of what I have done, in the heat of the moment, I look up and He reminds me that I am significant because of my relationship with Christ and how everything along the way was like adding seasonings to a fine gourmet dish. A little of this, a little of that and then next thing you know you are a creation totally different than you were. I like to call it being on the wheel..the Potter's wheel.

He brings to where we are through the lives and choices we have lived or made. He loves where we were, He loves us where we stand now and He will love us through every mistake, every triumph and every hurdle we face. In that there is no regret. However, some times you just might find yourself struggling with what you want to do and what He wants you to do!  He is the ultimate Father of the Year. Making the hard choices - it is one of the most difficult things we do and when we step out on faith and rather than choose the flesh, we must remember that one day in the not to distant future...a consequence, a price as it were, will need to be faced.

There is only one way I know of to avoid living in a life filled with regrets and disappointment - it is to live a life in Christ, choosing the high road over the easy or tempting one. I also know it is the hardest walk you will ever make...because to be true to Jesus is to walk in the open and not in darkness. I could quote or list passage after passage but all in - it isn't about living right it is about right living...2 totally different things. One makes it about Him - the other makes it about me.

pebble out....