SHAME

MareBearHitstheRoad Blogger - How many here have walked the walk of Shame. Man o Man is it a pain or what? Shame is such a horrible, lonely, ugly place to be and it mires us down in bitterness, self-pity and hatred, feelings of helplessness...and the list goes on. But what happens when you are led from that dark hallway down the road to a place where you can objectively look back at all you have done, all you have or have not been, and all you were meant to do? Well for one thing, you get down off your soap box; climb out of your hell; shed the shackles of bondage to all that really is not real and you smell the clean fresh air of freedom.

Shame like any crappy, negative emotion sucks you dry. It simply moves right in and devours every good thing in its path. And we have all walked it at one time or another. For some it is a comforting blanket, filled with down feathers and frilly edges. That is how much we embrace it. For others, we keep it tucked quietly in the closet where no one can see it and hope that we are pretending well enough to achieve that goal. And others wear it on their sleeves, for the whole world to see. It really doesn't matter which category you fall into, we've all been there, done that...and probably will again, and again, and again.

But do we have to? Is it a choice or given? In Jesus, we have choices. We can choose right living, good choices and still end up with a closet full of shame. Shame is one of the most base of all emotions. It keeps us from living our lives to their full potential because as we walk in shame we fail to see truth. Not because we necessarily want to but because it is all we know. Perhaps a parent or loved one, in their style and manner of communication taught us to shame...perhaps it was passed from parent to child, unwittingly. Wherever it came from, shame ravages lives and destroys hope and faith.

I have done many things over my lifetime that were not just shameful, but they were down right wrong.  And as life moved forward, I did not move forward from my shame and guilt over those many incidences that disappointed not just me but those I loved and cared for. But then something Extraordinary happened. It was in the spring of 2003 that I watched, literally, all the shame and fear leave me. As I sat reading an extremely life changing book on finding Freedom in Christ, I was transformed.  That book was "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers. There are several books that have changed me over the years, all for the better but the 2 that stand out most, were this one and the Bible.

Francine Rivers manages in this one book to transform lives simply by sharing the extraordinary life of a young girl, a child really, who through the white slave trade/trafficking back in the 1800's, was transformed by the Amazing Love of one man, her husband. But for those who have not read the book or understand that it is faith based, the symbolism of her husband is that of Jesus. And her life of forced prostitution, rape etc...are simply representative of the many things that bring shame and dirtiness to each of us, in one way or another.

But you see, there is an answer to solving this dilemma and His name is Christ. When I keep my eyes fixed on Jesus, I know that I have been washed clean. Nothing I can ever do or say again will change that. I do not need to carry the shame and sin and sorrows of the past on me life a warm cozy blanket. But rather I can walk naked toward  my King, my best friend, and know that I am pure like the driven snow because He took all of those things away from me...as he hung on the cross. As he hang there, willingly, dying for my sin.

I can not unring bells or take back the past or fix what I did wrong. But I can take today and every day forward and live them for Him...and in doing that, by letting go of the shame, I bring my Faith into the forefront...my belief in God, the Hope for tomorrow and the Blessings to come - all of these become my life, my focus, my reality. When I look up and stop looking out or in, I give God the Glory and His Love in me, through me a chance to shine like the Northern Lights.

This evening as I sat with 4 of the people I trust most in this world, sharing and discussing the Vision for BFF International, tears of sadness welled up as I realized that this would be the last time I might sit with these special brothers and sisters, and explore the Will of God...not just for BFF but for Him through me....as I drove away down Evergreen Parkway, He gave me a glorious rainbow...