HOME

MareBearHitstheRoad Blogger - April 21, 2010 - Day 27 - WOW, I cannot believe how time is flying by and that in a months time, as I blog from the road, I will be heading Home. Now, bear in mind that my HOME right now is Oregon. I love Oregon, I love my friends and family here, I love the landscape of what has been an awesome 22 years. My insurance agent used to  poke fun at me because I moved so often he couldn't keep up with me. You would think I was a military brat but nope, just love to move around. Oregon is only the second place where I have spent so many years in, and ironically, about as many years in my native Home, NY. Yes, I was once a NY girl, fast life, big living, and nothing but trouble..LOL.

On Saturday night, in NY, the Susan Wagner HS class of 1975-1976 got together for a reunion in NJ. Old friendships were renewed or refreshed; existing friendships regaled and admired; tales of success, tales of woe shared and exchanged. But reunions are about going home to catch up and see where we all have come from, what we have done and where we are headed. Most people dread reunions because age and time has not been kind or they have not been kind to themselves. Or that it will be about what they do, how much they make, their level of success, the house and car they drive, how good they do or do not look..you get the idea. I have often thought what I would do if there were a reunion of the class of 1978, Susan E. Wagner Alum unite for one night after 30 odd years. For many it is very much like going home after a long absence.

Going home means different things to different people. As mentioned above, it can be all about the superficial stuff or it can be about the meaningful things in life, like hearth and home, family and life long dreams fulfilled and fulfilling! For me, Home has always been where ever I created a special place for my stuff. Until 16 years ago I avoided pets or owning anything of any real value because, well it just makes it harder to move around. Always a free spirit, loving to explore and travel, I can make a home just about anywhere because wherever it is there will be new challenges and adventures, which in turn means I grow as a person. I learn tolerance and diversity, I become more flexible, yielding to change and new things. I gain new perspectives and become more open-minded; and undoubtedly I WILL create a home regardless.

But I love Oregon, I love my friends, I love my family, I love my church, I love my memories and adventures both good and bad. So why would I give it all up, for big city life, hustle and bustle, and well it's NY folks - it's a hellova town. But now it's time to go home, to where I was raised, to where there are many bad memories and poor choices, and wrong living. But as I return, I am being blessed all over the place by renewed contact with friends from childhood, friends from HS and the new friends I will be making as I start this new adventure for the BFF.  Coming Home has some real meaning for me, and it is not something I thought I would ever do, but so far it appears that there is nothing but green lights ahead.

But as I reflect on the many homes I have had, the one I lost, and the ones I may never see again, I am reminded that it is not what I own or have, materialistically speaking; it isn't about stuff that fills each room and decorates the walls, and it is most certainly NOT about money, power or position. Home really is where your heart is. While I may be leaving the place that is HOME today, a home that has filled me up to overflowing proportions; a home that has blessed me in countless ways and on innumerable occasions; a home filled with friendships that will be life long, love learned and lost; home of many successes and an equal number of failures and mistakes; the family that extends beyond my siblings to those brothers and sisters in Christ...I am reflecting on what this change will bring and how my new Home will take shape in my heart.

As blessed as I have been with my family here, the family that helped and stood by me through good times and bad; the family that taught me to first crawl, then walk and then run, I pray that in my new Home, my return Home I too might bring those same lessons and love to others and to my family and friends there.  Like the Women;s Retreat "Rooms of the Heart", which I have mentioned in a previous blog, my heart is Christ's Home. If I reflect the light and love and joy and hope and the very essence of His message to the world, with others, they will come into my Home and together we will build solid friendships on a solid foundation, that will go unbroken.

NY is the antithesis of Oregon in almost every way. I am leaving behind wide open spaces while I live in the metro area. I am leaving behind easy access to mountains and skiing or oceans and dog friendly beaches, both within an hours drive for a city that never sleeps, that culturally can only be compared to cities like Paris and Milan, where you can get anything 24 hours a day. I am leaving behind the ability to leave my doors unlocked at night without reservation for a city that 3 locks are mandatory for every entrance to your home. I am leaving behind my HOME, as I have known it for 22 years. So first, I want to thank Oregon for being such a people friendly, eco-friendly, entrepreneurial friendly, pet friendly place. I want to thank native Oregonians for their hospitality and friendliness.  But mostly I want to thank the people that have spent the last 10 years loving me, befriending me, caring for me and most of all, encouraging and praying for me. Without these things, I literally would not be here at this moment in time, sharing with you.

As my bags are packed, and my belongings sparse, and with challenges not yet revealed or overcome ahead of me, I am excited to be going HOME, to the place where I was raised and to friends who remain and to family   that I have not seen in a long time. But the thing I am looking forward to most of all is going HOME without the baggage that I left with.  I can go home like a bright & shiny new penny filled with Hope, Love and Faith AND that in all things great or small, I will work tirelessly to share that with those around me.  That as I return Home to the roots of my childhood, I return not empty handed or empty in spirited but renewed and refreshed  for I am a new creation through Christ, who not only changed how I look at the world but MORE IMPORTANTLY how I love the world.

"I can do all things through Christ Jesus, who strengthens me".  As the days slip by faster and faster and as my dance card becomes filled with special times with special friends and family, I am at peace with the path I have chosen and the direction it will take me. If necessary, my Home could be a cardboard box because ultimately what defines me, my heart and my home, wherever it may be, is my relationship and intimacy with Jesus Christ.

I will not shy away from sharing my faith and belief with others, and I will not/do not need to defend GOD, and I will walk with the kind of Faith that moves mountains. Our home is many things, but if it is not filled with Faith, Hope and Love, the greatest of these being Love, then I ask you what is HOME?

Blessings,

marebear