HUMILITY

MareBearHitstheRoad Blogger - April 7, 2010 Day 41...the past week, while filled with so many blessings has also not been without its challenges, with some of those blessings on the not so obvious side. But as I sat having lunch with my dearest friend yesterday, we talked about some of what has been going on (too much to list here yet alone share) and the lessons that came with. We all know what humility and being humble is all about but there is a time when we must be careful because we can be prideful in our humility. And when we recognize the ugly beast it is so enlightening and well, humbling that it will change you. As I rode the wave of joyfulness pretty much through the weekend and into Monday, it was invigorating and exciting. It was electric. But let me tell you as Monday came to a close and I fell into Tuesday, I became quite introspective because of all that had happened and wanted to really reflect on the lesson I was in the midst of.

So often in our faith we have moments with great highs and extreme lows. Sometimes we are in balance and other times we are way off center. At the heart of faith it is important to recognize and respect that God is always in control. We are to fear God not because He is a God who punishes, but because it is important we know He is God and we are not. But for some reason, despite all of the hardships and pain getting here, I have trouble fearing God. Not because I do not know Him and my place in the palm of His hand, but because even when I have been on the humbling side of faith, where I have been "smacked down and reminded" of His goals, His plan, His purpose for me and for each of us, I can always find the lesson - or the not so obvious blessing and KNOW that I have been not just impacted positively by that lesson, no matter how hard it is/was but I KNOW God is teaching, pruning and molding me. The clay gets a smack down from the Potter.

As time draws nearer to my departure and as things are beginning to be hurled at me, from every angle, our God is showing me how important it is to remain in a place of humility rather than believe I am causing or doing it. It doesn't mean I have done anything wrong, if anything it means I am working in the direction I should...one where I trust Him, and regardless of the slings and arrows that come my way, put my whole faith to work. All things are worked for His Glory. Resting in that quietly and with true humility is a difficult task and one that we will have to work on each moment of every day. I trust God so much with my life, I am willing to lose it to be in His Will. I am willing to say "this is not of my doing but of God working through me and I can do nothing in my own power but only through Him who gave His life so that I might know eternity".

Without realizing it at the time, I was being prideful in my joyfulness, unintentionally and God swiftly reminded me that Pride comes before the fall. As my friend and I finished lunch I was so blessed to talk it through and share my lesson and while I am still not certain why I find it so hard to fear God, I am resting now in a place of quiet assurance that He will teach me. I am humbled daily as I watch what He is doing not just in my life, but more importantly in the lives of those around me, the life of the BFF and in the journey I inch toward. I worry sometimes that this change is not in His Will...but I can only pray that He will hit me really really hard over the head if it is not, and if I still don't get it..that I trust He will still make lemonade. Tonight, in closing I pray this prayer:

Father God, I lay myself at your feet and give honor an praise to you, to your sovereignty over my life. I trust Lord that you will protect and watch over not just your daughter, but over the endeavors she attempts, in your name. I ask Lord that you would keep me humble. That I would not be a willful child but a willing child. That I would rely not on my strength but in yours and in looking UP not out, or IN...that I have the ears to hear and the eyes to see all that you have in store and will hear your commands and follow obediently."

Challenge for my readers: Try spending one day in a truly humble place, with out pride, can you?

Blessings,

marebear