LOVE

MareBearHitstheRoad Blogger - Today is April 22, 2010 and in 26 days I will be crammed into my Saturn with 2 very large dogs, 1 large cat and one medium cat and another human being. In tow will be everything I own now, which ain't much other than the necessary items - like clothes, computers and electronic equipment. I will be sharing this journey with Gene, the brother of my oldest and dearest friend, who has graciously offered to come to Oregon and help me schlep back to NY on the open road.  Which other drivers will be quite grateful for since I get the road sleepy's and inside of 2 hours I will be nodding off at the wheel. This Journey is a labor of Love for Breiter Futures Foundation and for Christ. Sure there are wonderful and exciting things happening and unfolding but ultimately it's about loving.

What is Love? For some it is measured by words of affirmation or gifts. For another, it might be demonstrated through acts of service and hospitality. Some find that physical touch is Love, and in many ways it does manifest through touch, but not necessarily of the sexual nature. Some people don't believe in Love, they believe we "choose" to love someone and then it happens. Others believe it can be at first sight. Some define love by the negative aspects of it - jealousy, envy, coveting by another demonstrates love. Many find that love eludes them, like a secret or mystery to be found, and are so busy trying to manifest the appearance of Love they fail to see and capture the pure beauty of Love.

God teaches us in every book of the bible that He is a God of Love. He teaches us like any good Dad would through Love. And just as He must sit by at times and watch His children struggle through pain and heartache, He remains ever faithful in His greatest promise - that of a LOVE so UNCONDITIONAL that we cannot even fathom it in our puny little minds. He is not a God of vengeance or punishing. Many would and will challenge that statement and I am ready to stand firm in that very Promise because I know. And it's good to challenge that which we don't understand, if we didn't we would be simply puppets. I am not a puppet. You are not a puppet - we are not puppets. God Loves us so much that He made the ultimate sacrifice for US. He gave His Son for our salvation - so that we would know eternal love and the perfection of that eternal love.

We have all been hurt by love, in one way or another or  many ways. Pain from love's heartache can leave us broken and empty; cold and bitter; self-hating and lonely. The joy from love fills our cups to overflowing proportions (I use that expression a lot - it's a favorite of mine); it brings untold satisfaction and peace; passion and fire; serenity and calm. One could argue that it is the single greatest emotion we can have because it has the ability to destroy with just a word or expand and overwhelm us to irrational, illogical and down right silly behavior. But here is my take on Love based on what I know to be true.

Love can be unconditional because we receive it, I receive it from God every moment of every day. Love can be painful because we often must go through the refiner's fire just to journey closer to God and His unconditional Love and build an intimacy with Him. Love is blind and sometimes stupid. Love is in everything if you simply look for it. It's kind of like the glass being half full or half empty - we can choose how to see things and if we allow our tainted hearts to control our perception of love then it makes unconditional love almost impossible. How many times has someone said "well, if you really loved me....you fill in the blank". Or how about this one "If only I had a perfect body or more money others will love me"? The truth is that the only one who can possibly love us so unconditionally is God - why? Because He knows every little dirty detail of our lives from start to finish, but He still loves us, craves to spend time with us, bless us, hold us close when we are hurting and sometimes quietly He loves us, so that we can learn to love ourselves.

I realized tonight that I had not yet touched on this subject and since it is so critical to this new chapter of my life, this journey, it's about time I did so.  When we practice the presence of God, when we actively listen, meditate and journey with Him, the only thing you can possibly see is LOVE.

On October 22, 2009 I was prepared to do the most unthinkable thing. I had researched for months the right way and wrong way to do it. I had picked the day, the hour and the method by which I would do the unthinkable. I didn't want to think or draw close to God because I knew He would show me nothing but Loving Kindness and the way back. I didn't want to come back. I was lost in a sea of self hatred brought on by mistakes and poor choices and a sense of failure so great that I couldn't see anything but darkness. But here is where it gets really interesting, God wasn't finished with me yet. He loved me so much that even as I was trapped in my own darkness, shame and humility there was Grace and His mercies. That is love. When I fail because of poor decisions or choices, to blame God is ludicrous. Yet, we as humans expect God to wave a magic wand and it will all be better or go away or whatever we think in times of great struggle, loss, pain and despair. But ask yourself this, in the mind and heart that you have beating within you, lies Christ in wait for you to breathe Him in and say Howdy, great to meet ya...wanna take a ride together?

There is only one Faith that rests solely on the principals of Faith, Hope and Love, the greatest of these is Love...it is the faith of one who believes that the Son of God...the Son of Man, who loved us so very much because of our inequity chose to lose His life for ours. WOW WOW W

So I have decided that each day when I get up I will make every best effort to love the unlovable, as well as the lovable. That I will shine bright with Hope that I will be blessed over and over because I choose this path and not be taken down by those who feel forsaken by Love. And I have decided that through Faith in that which I cannot see, and the Hope in things I can, that I will do my very human best to LOVE at all times, unconditionally and with eagerness and genuinely, always hoping that through that Love, Christ's light will burn so bright in me, that others will want to know Him too. I am not afraid of being rejected or scorned because I am prepared and ready to lose my life for Christ in order to gain it everlasting. And there is no greater gift you can give another than to give of your heart - through LOVE.

I have been reconnected with old friends, united with new ones, and eagerly anticipate the ones to come...and I want to say thank you and I love you to everyone along the way...you have taught me in ways only God knows, through the bad and the good...and always WITH LOVE.

Blessings,

marebear